By Josh Horwitz

Asian men, have you ever been fetishized, and what were your experiences like? We tend to hear a lot about Asian women being fetishized by non-Asian men (mostly white), but rarely ever about the experiences of Asian men, or even queer Asian women, with being fetishized, save the occasional weeaboo tale. So Asian men, queer, straight or anything. We hit the streets asking girls if they prefer dating white guys or asian guys. Enjoy!Get career advice, business or relationship coaching: https://www.jpcoa.

Asia Correspondent

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Did Tinder inadvertently promote a racial stereotype in a short, 30-second clip?

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Last week Hong Kong media outlet Nextshark spotted a video on dating app Tinder that it argued was, well, insensitive at best.

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The clip, which played at log-in, showed a female user opening the dating app and swiping on faces using the signature gestures, left for rejection and right for “let’s chat.” Two white faces get swiped right. So does one black one. The lone Asian male? Swipe left.

Nextshark slammed the video for perpetuating the stereotype that Asian men are undateable.

“For most users, the video seems harmless—after all, it’s not likely that any given person will swipe right on all profiles they come across. But Asian men have an uphill battle in the dating arena: they have the lowest response rates out of any racial group, even when it comes to Asian women,” wrote Nextshark.

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The article was subsequently posted on Reddit’s “Aznidentity“forum, which describes itself as a community “against effects of mainstream subconscious bias against Asians, media discrimination, the bamboo ceiling that frustrates Asian advancement.” In a manner typical for anonymous online debate, many spewed vitriol toward the ad.

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“Tinder is just another white company trying to gip money away from Asians while trying to shit on Asians at the same time, just like Hollywood,” wrote one commenter, receiving 22 upvotes.

In response to the video, one local matchmaker told Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post: “This video not only disrespects the market that Tinder seeks to serve, but also reinforces the stereotype Asian men aren’t attractive to women.”

Tinder told Quartz that it is not running the video in any region any longer.

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“This video was part of a small test that we rejected and are no longer using. Though it was not our intention, we see in retrospect how the content could be seen as insensitive, and we deeply apologize for any offense caused,” said a spokesman. “We believe that everyone deserves the chance to find their match on Tinder and we strive to make it a community of acceptance and inclusivity for all individuals.”

Asian men peeved at Tinder—and wedded to the idea that online dating is already plenty hard for them—have numbers to back up their grievances. In 2014, dating site OKCupid revealed data showing that Asian men, along with black women, tend to get fewer matches then members of other races. Asian-mixed intermarriage rates in the US are relatively high at 27%, but Asian women “outmarry” at a higher rate than Asian men, according to Pew Research Center. And in a survey of 354 Asian men conducted by tech entrepreneur Jason Shen, 46% of respondents replied they had been told at least once “I don’t date Asian men.”

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Reddit

Why online dating is good

It’s interesting how, with certain patterns, you can make a great online dating profile.I spoke with Whitney Perry, the founder of the Single Online Dating Guide, who shared a great analogy.If you are wearing a dress that has zippers up the side, you can show what the dress looks like in a different way to different people by zipping it up a bit. The same thing is true for online dating profiles. With different profiles you can show a different side to different people. Maybe your body is a little softer in some photos, or you are extra shy and don’t like the camera or you have a weird-looking nose, or maybe you are cool in person but not so much on paper. When you show a different side to your online dating profile, people get a better impression. Your profile is less like a resume and more like an item you are trying to sell. So, unless your marketing team is a super awesome, skilled team, online dating profiles should only show what you like. You are trying to get out of a space where people are going to feel the need to make assumptions about who you are. And if they do, they are wrong. You don’t have to have an amazing job, amazing car, or money, and you don’t have to be super outgoing, friendly, smart, attractive or wear a dress that reveals a lot of skin or be a brunette.

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